Don't want to lose him via divorce
We madly love each other.But the only problem between us is his mother's nature.She cannot tolerate our closeness, if he cares for me, if I use his things she badmouthed me in his absence over phone.In front of him she is sugar-coated.I do not have proof of her these activities as my windows doesnt allow me to record calls earlier.And we had massive fights only on this issue as he doesnt believe and reacted as his mother is innocent which angry me a lot.She manipulates our conversation everytime. I just stopped talking to her for the last few weeks. 2days back we had a great fight on this issue of his mother's misbehavior and he completely denies and says I am the culprit and she is innocent, I am making all the stories.We stopped talking for 2days approx.Today I have got the news from his father that 2days back she got hospitalized,and my husband thinks because of me she is getting ill.Many times I told them to take her to a Psychiatrist.They did not go.Now he even gets angry when I told him to go for a Psychiatrist.Simply he is saying I am reason for his mother's illness,and he will divorce me,send me notice.The moment I heard the news of her hospitalization I eliminate all her misbehavior from my mind,because now I understood that she suffers from mental illness as reports are normal and in hospital doctor referred to a neurologist.For the last 2days I researched a lot about Narcissistic personality disorder and every traits is matching with her.So today I suggested my father in law along with neurologist visit a Psychiatrist,but he informed my husband that I told him that "he is going for wrong doctor".I have the recording where I always said "in my opinion you should also visit a Psychiatrist too".I said sorry even if I know I am not guilty just to bring the peace between us.I know he is very angry now, but he cant leave without me.But his parents fuel our separation for sure.I am helpless, clueless.I just cant live without him.I want peace in our live,Please help us how to deal with the problem, and how make him realize that I am not telling lie.I never in my dream think of leaving him though with lot of pain initially I agreed to sign on the papers so that he will be happy.But I realized every time after few hours of separation that its impossible to stay without him.Please help me.
Asked 8 months ago in Family Law from Bangalore, Karnataka
You can suggest your husband to go for counselling to a marriage counsellor so that he is made to understand the rationale in what you have been telling him and to iron out your differences as your differences have not yet attained a legal character.
The saving of marriage specially the love marriage should be the first priority, try to save your marriage and at this situation forget all his behaviour, his mother is in hospital due to her illness and you know very well that he is not in the situation to listen yoj, so it will be better to support him by accept his words and save this marriage, in future when he will be normal, he realize his mistake and say sorry to you, till then support him mentaly and physically.
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Advocate, New Delhi
1) you can always with draw your consent for divorce .
2) if you have not signed the divorce papers dont do so .
3) if your husband files for contested divorce it would take him 5 years
4) if your husband does not believe you regarding MIL conduct the only option is to record your conversations
Initially I was suing a windows phone. There was not call recording option so I was tried to download several apps to record a call but it was not working,so I do not have any proof.But the recent allegation given by his father that " I told him he is consulting a wrong doctor for MIL chek-up" and that conversation I recorded because my windows ph got damaged and using android.I only said in my opinion only they should visit a Psychiatrist for MIL. I will definitely withdraw the consent and judge will help me anyways ? Because we need a marriage counsellor. If I am going to ask him to come with me to a MC he might not go.
Asked 8 months ago
1) when you file petition for divorce by mutual consent court refers both parties for counselling
2) among Hindus marriage is sacrament and not a contract
3) the objective is to save the marriage . counselor will try to help parties in reconciliation
4) you are always at liberty to with draw your consent for divorce
Unless you consent to end your marriage before the court your husband cannot walk away with divorce. The court can even refer the matter to mediation to reconcile your differences. Consult a lawyer personally before going to court.
This is another case of worries due to disputes owing to emotional values or attachment.
He might have listened to your words had his mother was not taken ill and now it has become his mind set that you are the root cause for his mother's ailments.
You have to eradicate this feeling from his mind.
If he is firm on his decision to dissolve your marriage, you may ask him to first have consultation with a mediator or a attend a counselling session, wherein you both can interact and arrive at a decision conducive and favorable to both of you.
If he refuses to attend a counseling session you may refuse to sign the papers for divorce and inform him that you will challenge his divorce case properly in the court if he still proceeds.
In the matrimonial dispute, the court will arrange a mediation session compulsorily, he cannot avoid it there.
As you said that your husband and his father are against you and are in the wrong notion that your MIL suffered this ailment due to your behavior with her.
Moreover they may not appreciate your suggestion to take your MIL to a psychiatrist as they feel that you are still leveling allegations on her which are unjustifiable.
They failed to understand your good notion.
You may better openly say that your idea was not to harm their sentiments but to make your mother in law alright at the earliest by giving her proper treatment.
If they are predetermined, then your husband may not cooperate even in the counselling session, so you have no choice than to contest the divorce case strongly and properly.